I went through the empty nest syndrome with my daughter during a time in my life when I was also experiencing a great deal of on-the-job stress. So much of my anxiety was blamed on my job; my manager and traffic-jams. I thought the tears I cried from missing my daughter was overflow. It wasn't until I experienced the same continual sadness and helplessness with my son that the "empty nest" syndrome was considered as a focus.
Even though I am constantly busy and fulfilled in my spiritual, educational and professional lives any form of rejection from my children was able to throw me off. When birthdays, family gatherings, job starts and travel arrangements have not included my input, I have allowed myself to feel rejected and abandoned. I have sulked and pouted for days if I felt left out of any plans that I had previously been automatically relied upon.
Coming to the full understanding that my children are now adults has finally sunk in...I think...I hope. As adults, they are requiring the same right to privacy and respectful confidence that I required from my parents. Hmmm...
Yes, I remember when. My children have wisely helped me remember when I said similar things regarding limits and boundaries to my mom. Finally, I can add another notch of appreciation for my parents who offered help and then sat back and let me fall if I needed to fall. Fortunately, I benefitted from having parents who understood the value of unconditional love. After I messed up - they were always there with kind, open arms willing to help, hug and assure. Gratefully, I have wonderful role models whose actions and love I will be able to, prayerfully, use to guide me through the next phase of my life with children.